


Can't Rewrite the Stars

by StarryKitty013



Series: 98% successful [4]
Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Arguments, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, MJ is kinda a dick, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Peter 'I can't communicate feelings' Parker, Teen Angst, Teenagers, Unrequited Crush, honestly the best, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-28 04:18:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15040562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryKitty013/pseuds/StarryKitty013
Summary: OR 5 times Peter tried (and failed) and one time he couldn't





	1. Ditching

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching the Greatest Showmen while editing this. DONT FIGHT ME!!! THE TITLE IS GREAT!!
> 
> Anyways. I'm gonna post a lot this week so get ready. By Friday all my finished work will be posted!
> 
> SO y'all really wanted a good comforting ending to that last fic? Well me being the asshat I am decided that hey, everyone wants a nice ending, well I'm gonna drop a but load of MORE angst on top of the angst I got written. Marvel should hire me. #stillsaltyaboutthedusting jk but no really. This isn't a conclusion.
> 
> THIS CAN ALSO BE READ AS A STAND ALONE IF YOU REALLY WANT TO( the other one was kinda long so I don't blame you.)
> 
> PLUS more 5 + 1 LET'S GO!!!
> 
> Enjoy;)

**Ditching**

 

Michelle Jones does  _ not _ care about what happened to Peter Parker.

 

Sure they are friends, he and Ned had let her into their little group even before she knew about Peter being Spiderman. They acted suspicious though. They constantly were speaking in hushed tones sometimes, even if they geeked out and usually didn’t care who heard. It was becoming increasingly obvious and when she finally confronted them about it, everything made sense.

 

Peter’s ditching was justified...but it still was annoying. It was okay at first, until it wasn’t. He was constantly missing practice and when he did show up MJ was too salty at him for missing the others she always gave him impossibly hard questions. 

 

Sometimes she felt bad, because Peter was saving people and he had bags under his eyes, and she was starting to think sickly pale was just his skin tone, and that he’d  _ always _ had that slouch. But then Peter would ditch again, and honestly if he could handle a Octopus robot monster, then he could handle advanced Trig in his head. And he did, with irritatingly quick ease. As if she was asking his what two plus two was instead of the cubed root of 8293.

 

He was still good, so everything was okay in decathlon. There was no reason for her to be mad if he was studying at home, which he clearly was, and she didn’t mind it as much as she usually would when she saw him cramming at lunch, even if she’s seen him on page 320 17 times before. He was reviewing. And that’s one of the things she likes about Peter, no matter how much he’s proven that he knows  _ leagues _ above everyone else, he still works hard as if he didn’t. He never flaunted his smart like Flash would if he had any. 

 

The thing she  _ didn’t _ like about Peter Parker is that he was constantly flaking. Not just decathlon. Things like movies and hanging out with her and Ned, cause they were  _ friends _ now and thats what friends do. He was unreliable.

 

_ “Sorry I can’t make it to the movies guys. Have fun.” _ 3 minutes before the movie started.

 

_ “You guys start studying without me, I got a few things to do.” _ And then never showing up.

 

_ “Sorry I didn’t show up the the cafe today, I slept late. Late night.” _ 15 minutes before classes started.

 

Excuse after excuse after  _ excuse _ . It came to the point where she was  _ expecting  _  the excuse over him actually coming. When he does show up 50% of the time he has to leave in the middle of it. And he only shows up like 10% of the time. That’s 5 whole percentage points that he’s  _ actually _ there and 50% of  _ those _ times he’s paranoid, constantly checking his phone, the other 50% is he’s dead tired and barley living. But MJ knows for a certain fact:

 

Peter Parker is 100% unreliable.

 

He’s smart, funny, nice, innocent and sweet. He’s polite and had good intentions. Great studying partner, and modest. He was everything a good friend and/or human being could possibly be. But when it came to it, at the end of the day, no one could rely on Peter Parker. 

 

No one could rely on Spiderman either, he was too much of a wild card to rely on. MJ scoffed it was so ironic and made so much sense. Why would someone’s alter ego be reliable, if they were never reliable to began with.

 

“Hey Parker.” Peter shot his head up from where it was resting on the lunch table. He was studying chemistry, which he didn’t need to, he practically could  _ teach _ the course in his sleep. But he kept dozing off, and it was really pissing MJ off right about now, because he wasn’t  _ supposed _ to know any of the stuff. And he’d missed homework assignments three times this passed week, even if they weren’t all in Chemistry. He had a 92% that could’ve been easily 100 if he just do his freaking sheets at home. But he was too busy. “You’d better not fail that test.” She said blandly.

 

“Hmm?” Peter looked at her with tired eyes, she had no sympathy. She also conveniently avoided looking at the dark circles. 

 

“I don’t wanna have to kick you off the team, and deal with Flash.” she said blandly and he made a slightly amused noise and kept reading. “What you too good to talk to me now?” she snapped, it was a joke, but it didn’t come out as one. She winced internally. Oops.

 

Peter’s eyes widened and he croaked out “No, no sorry MJ. I just and t-tired. I won’t fail the test I promise-” his throat sounded dry and creaky after the entire day of disuse. MJ winced in a bit of sympathy.

 

“Okay, but you  _ are  _ gonna meet me and Ned at the cafe after school. We have to study.” she said and Peter nodded.

 

“Promise, I’ll be there.” she bit back a  _ don’t keep promises you can’t keep. _ And nodded back.

 

OoOoO

 

Of course Peter hadn’t shown up for  _ two hours _ . She and Ned were long done studying and now just talking about random things, but neither of them actually were actually invested in the conversation.

 

Why did she even expect him to show up?

 

She was packing up when she heard the bells of the cafe ring and labored breathing. She looked up to see Peter a sheen of sweat on his head, and his baggy jacket hanging off him. He heft his sagging sleeve onto his shoulder and wiped the sweat off his brow. He looked like he would collapse at any moment, but she didn’t care.

 

_ He freaking promised _ .

 

MJ knew it was stupid to hold onto a promise that she knew wouldn’t come true, but Peter  _ always _ kept his promises. He promised that he would study. He did. He promised to protect the little guy. He did. He promised he was fine. He was and kept going. So why couldn’t he keep this, small little promise. MJ realized he never promised he’d  _ be there _ , but that was a given when you have friends. To always be there for one another. It didn’t matter his reason, he wasn’t there so much could they even consider being  _ friends _ . He always ditched them.

 

“If you didn’t want to hang out, you could’ve just said so Parker.” she snarled, avoiding the look of absolute guilt and sadness crushing down on him.

 

“I-I… MJ! No, wait I-m so-” Peter was cut off.

 

“Sorry? Heard that one before. You’re wearing it out.” MJ said, and honestly Peter’s apologies were said too much to be genuine at this point.

 

“No please…” he whimpered to himself, MJ couldn’t hear as she left, Ned following close behind. ”Shoot.”

 

OoOoO

 

Peter didn’t mean to miss yesterday’s cafe meeting. 

 

It had been a total accident. He was working with Cooper on some assignments and then totally forgot about the time. He’d even texted he’d be a little late. But a little wasn’t the same as the whole thing, which he had most certainly missed. 

 

And all the others before it. He felt so  _ bad _ . He constantly had to leave his friends - it was even a  _ plural _ now- to Spiderman, or science, or work or figure out his life in general. He was never good at keeping time, but if there was one thing he could do over it was that. Because having Ned look at him like he’d  _ failed _ again was too much. Having MJ have her calm furious and disappointment shoved onto his shoulder along with the other million things he had to keep track of was too much. Cause having her shove passed him in anger was too much. It was all too much, he needed a breather. And he couldn’t find one. Not anymore. So he just suffocated in silence. He was good at being quiet and shutting up. Spiderman not so much. Maybe that was what he needed.

 

That’s why he’d sporting darker bags under his eyes and a hunched paled expression that made him smaller then he was in the middle of history. He hadn’t done history homework again and he didn’t dare ask Ned or MJ to copy theirs. Not after yesterday. He was in the back, with his blank piece of paper. He had to do a reading, but he didn’t.

 

“I think Parker knows the answer.” MJ said, she was standing up. She was called for an answer and Peter snapped his head up. What? He looked at MJ, she looked back unsympathetically. 

 

“Mr.Parker?” the teacher said expectantly. But he couldn’t take his eyes off MJ. They had a knowing look in them, and she could clearly see his blank paper from where she was standing... and oh god she did that on  _ purpose _ . Peter felt like he was gonna cry.  _ Too much _ .

 

“I don’t know sorry, sir.” he croaked steadily and hunched more in on himself when Flash started to laugh at him and call him stupid. MJ sat down, and he missed her regretful expression.

 

“I suggest you do the homework and pay attention.” he said and the whole class snickered as he slouched into the fabric of his hoodie and never wanted to disappear as much as he did right then.

 

_ You’re such a screw-up! _

  
  



	2. Avoided

**Avoided**

 

What in the ever loving  _ fuck _ made her say that? 

 

She’d done many mean things to Peter in his life. Called him and Ned a loser. Make fun of them geeking out. Ignore them. Flip them off. Gave them impossible questions during decathlon. But none of those things really had any venom behind it. Not like Flash. It was just who she was, and they both had accepted that.

 

What they  _ didn’t _ sign up for was  _ that _ . 

 

That wasn’t just calling Parker a loser, or making fun of him. It was out right calling him out, which she’d never had done before. She’d never out right humiliate him, because Peter was already an insecure little child. But she had, when she could see he was dead tired, probably hadn’t gotten any sleep last night. Probably didn’t eat either. Yet he still skipped lunch. He didn’t show up to their table and Ned was freaking out, only to get a text a few minutes later saying that Peter was studying in the Library. Probably catching up on homework instead of z’s like he should be.

 

She was just as bad as Flash.

 

He didn’t show up to decathlon and he said he was free today, but she honestly couldn’t blame him. 

 

She was worse then Flash, because he’d actually trusted her. Thought she was a friend, and when he could barely move she stabbed him in the back. She’d made it worse, he had a guilt complex 1000 times bigger than Jupiter and she does  _ that _ .

 

Good job Jones.

 

She doesn’t expect him to come up to her the next day with a hopeful expression and homemade cookies. Saying sorry and that he’d try to be more reliable with those big brown puppy dog eyes that looked so innocent and genuine.

 

She slams her locker shut and turns away, because  _ she _ should be the one that’s sorry, not Peter. She only says “You missed decathlon practice.” and keeps going. And who the  _ fuck _ does she think she is?! Why the  _ hell _ would she say that!? She wants to turn around and take it all back. Take the cookies and split one with him and says they're all good. But they aren’t and she knows it. 

 

She doesn’t see his unyielding guilt, but she can  _ feel _ it. She’ knows it’s there. This was her fault for over reacting in the first place.

 

She was  _ so much _ worse then Flash could ever be.

 

OoOoO

 

Peter skipped lunch.

 

He worked in the library, trying to get his Chemistry done before class. He wouldn’t miss another assignment. It obviously made Michelle mad with him, and for some reason he couldn’t bare the thought of that.

 

So he wrote down the answers painstakingly to the questions on the sheet. The words were getting fuzzy and the graphs muddled into each other. Good he needed sleep. 

 

His head kept dropping in class and his stomach growling, but when he’d turned the paper in at the beginning and saw Michelle watching his every move with an unreadable expression, the feeling of half deadness and the growling bite of his stomach was almost worth it. Even if she wasn’t happy with him, she couldn’t be mad at him and he felt a small sense of pride within him. It was immediately squashed when Lila reminded him he said he’d tutor her before her Spelling test tomorrow. He said that last week, and decathlon was moved to today yesterday. He had priorities, and he’d already had said yes to meeting Lila at the tower. 

 

He was trying to stay awake the rest of the class to make up for the practice he  _ knew _ he was gonna miss. MJ would be so upset with him, and she wouldn’t accept a regular apology. How was he gonna fix this. He felt the panic from first period squeeze in his chest, it was hard to breathe the rest of the period. But at least if he was called he’d actually know the answer.

 

He texted Ned that he wouldn’t be at practice.

 

After school he scrounge up eight dollars and 76 cents to buy himself an energy drink, some gummy worms and a sandwich at Delmers. He scarfed them all down in record time, and he felt semi-reenergized for his meeting with Lila. Or at least enough to not fall asleep on the text books. He had to hide these kinds of things from the kids. If last time he freaked out was enough to set Cooper off on not knowing what to do. Then Scott freaked out and then Tony. 

 

He’d managed to placate it by saying he was all good. They obviously hadn’t believed him, but then they asked about abuse, and he said he hadn’t actually  _ touched _ him, so he was stuck with Ben until he did. It took a while to convince Bruce, Tony, Scott and Clint to not tell anyone, because honestly it didn’t matter much -  _ well it did, but they didn’t need to know how much it hurt _ . They told him if he had any trouble, Tony could just pay for it, and he immediately declined, saying he couldn’t just  _ take  _  their money without earning it first. They argued that he was  _ Spiderman _ , and he argued that Spiderman was a vigilante. Then they had said they pay him for babysitting and tutoring and he sighed and agreed. Then Tony gave him a check every week with too much money, but he didn’t argue because this was as much compromise as he was gonna get, and Ben didn’t yell at him anymore. 

 

“Why are you sad?” Lila asked him an hour into studying and he blink at her. He had only enough energy to process premade intelligence, not hiding his emotions and problems from a seven year old.

 

“How do you know I’m sad?” he said teasingly, but it came out more tired. “What if I’m just…” he could figure out a word, he didn’t want to use tired, that hit too close to home. It was frustrating how slow his brain was. Lila scrunched her nose.

 

“You look tired.”  _ well shit, there goes that plan Parker. _ Peter sighed.

 

“My friend is upset with me. I kinda flaked on her yesterday. I wanted to say sorry, but I don’t know how.” Peter said truthfully and Lila’s eyes lit up for some reason. She looked happy.

 

“Well, when daddy is upset with me, I make cookies and it’s all better!” Lila said and he chuckled at the thought of Clint being so childish as to accepting cookies as a peace offering. It was fitting. 

 

“I’ve never made cookies before though.” he mused in a way that was supposed to diffuse to get them back to work. The only time he’d tried was with May and they burnt the cookies. They were trying to surprise Ben but when Ben came home it was with a box of bakery bought cookies. Lila only smiled and hopped off the high counter stool and went behind the kitchen counter and started to gather materials. 

 

“I’ll show you. It’s easy.” Lila said happily and Peter laughed a little at her initiative.

 

“We have to study.” he held up her book with the word list in it and she scrunched her nose in displeasure. 

 

“I already know them.” she declared with her hands on her hips and Peter smiled.

 

“Okay, how to you spell philosophy.” he asked.

 

“P-H-I-L-O-S-O-P-H-Y” she said and Peter seemed appeased and went to the other side of the counter. 

 

And that was how it went. Peter would say a word from the list, and Lila would only get a few wrong, but there were only minor errors. By the time the cookies were in the oven, he was already unwinded and ready to face MJ again. He loved how Lila could defuse every situation. It’d make her a great Phyciatrist one day, which is what she wanted to be. Cooper wanted to be a cop or a EMT. They both wanted to help people, and Cassie wanted to be scientist. He was sure all of them could get to where they wanted to be, they were smart kids. And they wanted to help people. That, he thought, was the best part.

 

His good mood lasted all the way until he handed the cookies to MJ. Who slammed the locker and walked away, telling him he missed practice... _ again _ . His mood instantly depleted. 

 

He missed practice for what? Cookies. This wasn’t preschool, as much as he loved Lila and her innocent ideas, this would never had worked. He should’ve known MJ wouldn’t like this. Of course she’d shut him out and all he had to do was what she was saying.  Was to just freaking  _ be reliable _ ! Be there with your friends and keep your promises. Stop flaking when he said he’d  _ be there _ . That’s all he had to do! How hard was that?! Not hard for just about every person on the planet besides him!

 

_ You’re so stupid! _

  
  



	3. Guilt

**Guilty**

 

Chemistry was one of the four classes she shared with Parker. Math was not one of them.

 

Luckily today she didn’t have Chemistry or History but she did have English and PE. English was next for her and then lunch. Where as she’d usually walk with Parker, she knew she wouldn’t today. Not after slamming the door on his face, after he looked  _ so freaking hopeful _ they could make up and she had completely shut him down. Like the jerk she really is.

 

This was a mistake.

 

She should never had touched the innocent pure being known as Peter Parker. God Dammit if only he’d just  _ been there _ . She was overreacting. She never overreacts. Of course Peter Parker would make her overreact.

 

“Hey calm down, it’s just Standard Deviation. You can do this in your sleep Michelle.” Charles joked from beside her. Charles from the team. Oh yeah, she was in math. She took a breathe. “What’s up?” he asked and she looked a little confused. “Like usually you’re not out of it like this? Is it because Parker didn’t show up to practice again?” Charles asked and she felt a little heat boil up at that, how dare he accuse Peter when he didn’t even know- “I wouldn’t worry too much. He’s like the smartest person ever. He’s probably studied his ass off anyway.” Charles said and she immediately defused. Oh, he thought she was worried about the team.  _ Like you should be. Parker knows his shit and you know it too. _ That wasn’t the problem though. 

 

Charles kept talking and Michelle noticed how comfortable she felt. Everytime her thoughts diverged to Peter, Charles’ voice would snap her out of it. She found herself relaxed.

 

“I’m sitting with you at lunch.” she declared when class ended.

 

OoOoO

 

Peter walked into the lunch room with Ned. Catching up to him in the halls. He was starving and the cookies in his locker seemed so much less appetizing than they did this morning. 

 

He and Ned set down their trays and he didn’t notice himself waiting for Michelle, until he saw her walk into the lunch room with Charles. They were talking and he felt himself immediately deflate when she settled down at his table and they were still chatting.

 

_ Has Michelle ever talked that much with you? _ He asked himself. And let the crushing guilt of his failed attempt to be there for his friends come back.

 

“So did you have a super important Spider adventure?” Ned asked, with less enthusiasm then he had last october during homecoming, but it was still there. It had really mellowed out, and he was slightly grateful for that. 

 

“Nope. I baked cookies with Lila.” he mumbled chewing his rubbery fries. Ned blanched.

 

“You ditched decathlon for cookies?! MJ is gonna be so mad when she find out, and you  _ know _ she’s gonna find out! OMG Peter-!” Ned freaked out and Peter sighed.

 

“She already knows Ned. I made the cookies to apologize.” Peter said with a grumble.

 

“If you wanted to say sorry, you should’ve showed up. You know the only reason she’s mad at you in the first place is because of your flaking.”Ned said with a grumble.

 

“I know. But I had to tutor Lila. I told I would yesterday and you guys switched practice on me.” Peter said with a groan.

 

“You said you were free.” Ned argued and Peter looked at him.

 

“Are you mad too?” Peter asked meekly and Ned looked confused. “With the flaking.” he clarified and Ned was quick to reassure him when he ducked his head low. 

 

“No! Peter, don’t worry about it. I’m proud of you for what you do. Sure it can be a bit annoying, but I get it. Don’t worry about it. It’s more concerning than anything, I mean my best friend is putting himself in danger, but I’d never  _ ever _ be mad at you for it. You do what you gotta do man. I’ll support you all the way.”  Ned said and Peter smiled at him.

 

“Thanks man.” he said and Peter wondered what he ever did to deserve a friend as awesome as Ned Leeds.

 

“Any time.” Ned said and then looked as Peter’s eyes went glassy and he looked over to MJ. He sighed. He got it. Peter only  _ had  _  him and MJ. He never made friends with the rest of the team, not because he thought he was better then them, but because he was just too busy and too shy. He was more reliable to them, because he knew so much. Knowing a lot and being intelligent didn’t cut it for friends, Ned was there for Peter since the 1st grade and MJ had just recently became friends with them. Peter had a solid 1 and a half friend. MJ was now on and off and Peter didn’t want to lose her. It made sense. Ned wasn’t as clingy because he had more friends. Not that it mattered, but Ned knew Peter. He knew that if Peter had lost MJ as a friend, his self-esteem and guilt complex couldn’t afford that. Even if he did have Ned, he’d tear himself apart trying to keep his last friend there. That was why Ned was so happy Peter had invited MJ into their group. He was finally opening up. 

 

“Dude, go talk to her.” Ned said with an encouraging pat and Peter looked at him panicked.

 

“I tried. I even baked cookies for her. She slammed the door on my face. Literally. I screwed up Ned, like I always do.” Peter’s breathing became ragged, Ned was quick to stop the oncoming panic attack.

 

“No, Peter you didn’t screw up. MJ just overreacted-”

 

“Mj never overreacts.” Peter squeezed his eyes and shook his head. 

 

“Well she did and she knows she did.” Ned hoped what he was saying was true. “Just give her time to cool off.” Ned said reassuringly. Peter looked at him and nodded.

 

“Okay, okay.” he said and took deep breaths “Okay.” 

 

“You good?” Ned asked hand still on Peter’s shoulder.

 

“Yeah, but I think I’m not hungry anymore.” Peter said meekly and pushed his tray away, stanch of the stale patty and rubber fries too much for his enhanced senses. Ned looked worried but only said:

 

“Okay, that’s fine.” 

 

OoOoO

 

“Hey kid how’s it hanging?” Tony said up to him as he was hanging upside down from the ceiling reading his history textbook. He’d be prepared for MJ tomorrow. 

 

_ Why are you defending against her you idiot? _

 

“It’s hanging I guess.” Peter said with a wide grin. He could feel the fakeness, but there was only a little. It was less painful then the one he put on at school. 

 

Tony was cool and let him hang out at the tower sometimes. The Avengers didn’t seem to mind him that much, and it was a good get away from his home. He spent half the time he usually would there. It was great. The stench of alcohol that normally would make his stomach take a turn for the worst wasn’t there anymore, and his head didn’t hurt from the sound of Ben stumbling and pounding on his door.

 

“Well, yeah. I just saw Cassie playing with that new T-rex robot you got her for her birthday.” Peter perked up at that and smiled.

 

“She likes it? Good! It took forever and a half to get the parts for it. I hope my programming wasn’t too shotty. If it is I’ll just send it updates.” Peter shrugged and went back to his text book with a smile that wasn’t fake at all. Tony was still looking at him. Peter slowly put down his book and Tony laughed. Peter cocked his head to the side and he looked like a confused puppy.

 

“I was gonna ask where you got it  _ because _ of the programming. You did that yourself kid?” Peter nodded slowly “No wonder Osborn wanted you to intern for him, you’re a freaking genius.” Peter blushed and kid partly behind his book trying to make himself look smaller.

 

“No. No I’m not- Mr.Stark I don’t have any-”

 

“Nah ah. Zip it. Me first. I was gonna buy the programming style for that robot, but since you made it…- Kid could you come down here. I’m trying to be professionally and you’re reading a freaking  _ history textbook _ .” Tony said with an eye roll and Peter raised a brow.

 

“I’m also on the ceiling.” Tony waved a hand.

 

“Minor details.” he said and Peter laughed as he dropped to the ground.

  
  



	4. Jealousy

**Jealousy**

 

Charles was literally the best. 

 

He was funny and he knew a bunch of books that MJ had read. They had long discussions about them when at school and out of school too. They talked on the phone and texted a bunch. She was vaguely aware of the group chat she kept on silence and the contact as well. The group chat was nearly dead anyway, and the last text on the contact had been a week ago. 

 

_ I am free on Wednesday. If you wanna do anything. _

 

That was before all this shit went down. Oh how badly she wanted to delete the text thread and forget all the guilt on her. She was getting better. Hanging out with Charles had helped her out a lot over the past two weeks. 

 

She and Peter had yet to say a word to each other outside of decathlon. Even then she hung by Charles, and if she’d look up from her book, she’d see Peter’s nervous glances with something else in them. 

 

She laughed at Charles’ jokes, cause they were actually funny. His quips to Flash were good too. And whenever he made her laugh his eyes would light up. She never noticed before.

 

She never noticed a lot of things before. She had always been focused on…  _ Peter Parker _ . He was so mysterious, yet an open book. He was easy to follow and so obvious, but he was hiding something. Now that she knew what it was her eyes were open to so much more now. She wasn’t limited to just Parker anymore.

 

She didn’t know the half of it.

 

And she never saw Parker’s sad smile as she laughed at another quip Charles dished out to Flash.

 

OoOoO

 

Peter didn’t know what he was feeling, but he was feeling something. 

 

And he didn’t like it. 

 

Whenever MJ laughed at one of his jokes. Whenever she smiled at him. Whenever she suddenly flipped her head the other way. Or nudged him humorously. Or whenever they had an inside joke. Or whenever-

 

That wasn’t fair. She had no reason to care about what he thought. And Charles was a great guy. She deserved to be with someone like him.

 

Peter stopped walking briskly, he didn’t even notice he was doing so. He was breathing heavily and Ned wasn’t there, but he didn’t care. 

 

_ Someone like him _ . 

 

Reliable, funny, smart.  _ Reliable. _

 

Something he can never be.

 

Something she knows he can’t afford to be. Something that will never, and can never change about him. Something he  _ hates  _  so much about himself.

 

_ Add it to the pile Parker. You’re a mess. _

 

He opened the door to the common room a bit to briskly… without looking in it first.

 

Of course Flash would be here. It was Monday. He had an internship, and Peter really wasn’t supposed to be here. Scott and Tony and Clint were all bolt right in their chairs.  Flash and him were looking at each other with wide expressions. 

 

He didn’t know what to do. He was.. was ….What was he feeling? He couldn’t do this.  _ Too much _ . 

 

He slammed the door shut and groaned. Stumbling to the wall next to him and sliding down the wall next to the door frame. He didn’t even have time to pull his knees in before Clint was picking him up with a frantic Scott telling him  _ not to push him _ .

 

“If he’s that embarassed about taking care of our kids,” Clint started to shove him in, he couldn’t do this now. Not with today. “Then he should do it.”

 

“I-I’m not...I’m not embarassed. Not today. Please.” Peter stuttered quietly. They didn’t hear him. No one did. 

 

“Okay, then explain who you are to him.” Peter fell limp in the grasp as he was practically thrown on the chair in front of Flash and Tony. He was speechless. There was quiet for a long time.

 

“I’m waiting.” he seemed too smug about whatever he saw. Peter wanted to cry. He’d get exactly what he wanted. Like he did ever since middle school. It was so unfair.

 

_ Most things are. _

 

“I’m Cassy and Lila and Cooper’s tutor and babysitter. I guess.” Peter shrugged. Too much emotions were going through him. He needed to get a hold of himself. He wasn’t like most people when their emotions were pushed to the limits. And he knew it. Usually people burst, exploded. He only did that when he was panicking. When his emotions were flowing widly with too many different ones. He shut down. 

 

He freaking shut down. 

 

Only May, Ben and Ned knew what to do if shut down. No one else knew. They all had to guess and usually that made it worse. But May was dead, Ben was drunk and Ned wasn’t here. 

 

“Parker?” Tony asked and Peter semi-acknowledged him.

 

“Hmm?” he hummed, he was  _ fine _ . He didn’t need Ned, or May or Ben. Ha they were all three letters. Tony was four. He’d never get it.

 

He got up. 

 

“I’m not embarassed about it Clint. I just… didn’t know he’d be here today.” He said in absolute monotony. It was scary. 

 

He left, that was even more so. 

 

“Well one thing for sure, that kid knows how to leave the room in silence.” Scott tried to joke. Tony shook his head and got up.

 

OoOoO

 

“Parker!” Tony called after him walking quickly behind the fastly retreating back. He was surprised that it stopped.

 

“Why do you keep calling me that?” he asked through gritted teeth. Tony could tell he was keeping back a storm.

 

“It’s your name.” he said easily. It was easier to be an asshole.

 

“It’s my father’s name to, and Ben’s and my mom’s and May’s.” Peter looked at him. “It ties me to a lot of people I don’t wanna be tied to ya’know.” 

 

“You don’t wanna be tied to one of those four people, that doesn’t count.” Tony said

 

“I only want to be tied to one of those people, and that isn’t even her real name!” he nearly screamed. Tony was silent. He didn’t know what to say to that. He turned his back and was about to walk out of there.

 

“That’s it? You’re holding more back kid.” Tony stated and Peter was still walking out.

 

“And it’s mine to deal with. Not you or Scott or Clint or anyone elses. Mine and it’s the only thing I can control without getting in trouble.” Peter said and pushed the doors open as he walked out.

 

OoOoO

 

He was stabbing his plate at the lunch table the next day. 

 

“Come on man. You’ve hardly even eaten the past few weeks. You have the craziest metabolism in the world.” Ned poked him in the ribs. 

 

He wasn’t hungry. But he took a bite anyway. 

 

His advanced hearing let him hear Michelle’s laugh from here and Charles’ joke that he didn’t care about. 

 

“What’s so special about him anyways?” he stabbed his fork into his rubber band noodles.  He noticed Ned was looking at him weird. “What?” he groaned.

 

“Peter… are you jealous of ...Charles?” Ned asked and Peter was ridged. He wasn’t Jealous per say. He just wanted to make Michelle laugh like he used to do… oh my god he  _ was _ jealous.

 

He was jealous of Charles cause he wanted to make Michelle happy. Like he used to want to make Liz happy. And he liked Liz. Now he likes Michelle. Liz was an all at once thing though. But Michelle…. She was a slow build. This time was different. It wasn’t just a crush.

 

_ You’re still in high school dammit. This is a crush. You’ll get over it. She’s happy that’s what you want. _

 

He like Michelle.He was saved from answering when Flash dumped his milk on him.

 

“Oops Parker, might wanna change that shirt before you go to your babysitting job.” Flash laughed. Everyone looked at him, MJ included. “Demoted from a lab assistant to a babysitter. Would’ve kept the lizard job then clean up after some-”

  
“Shut it Flash!” he stood up and Ned didn’t know what to think. Peter had never stood up to Flash before. “Their great kids, and I’m not gonna have some freaking  _ leech _ say otherwise. They are each 100 times the person you are now and their seven.” Peter said and was about to leave when Flash turned him around and punched him straight in the face.


	5. Ditched

**Ditched**

 

_ “So you got detention… _ ” he didn’t want to be in the office but that was where he was. Waiting for the person he contacted to show up and pick him up. He would’ve gotten detention and Flash suspension. But then Flashed paid it off and instead he got an early dismissal and Flash got detention. He honestly didn’t know which was worse.

 

He needed to call a guardian.

 

“Peter?” Scott asked as he poked his head through the door. Scott Lang was the optimal choice to pick. Clint and Tony were a bit too famous, but Scott could blend in easily. And easily look like his relative. And he wouldn’t get mad. Well not as mad as Clint or Tony. “Are you okay?” he asked spotting him and Peter stood up. 

 

“Yeah...I’m  okay.” Peter said looking down and scuffing his shoe. Scott studied him.

 

“Cool, lemme just sign you out.” he did so and Peter shifted awkwardly and then followed him to his van. He took the passengers seat and Scott started the engine once his seat belt was on.

 

“So…” he said starting to drive. “Why were you in?” Peter shrugged and fiddled with his sleeve. “C’mon Pete, you probably have a good reason to get into a fight. I won’t be mad...well unless you were being a little shit, but you didn’t throw the first punch, so what happened?” 

 

“Flash...made fun of me babysitting your kids.” Peter mumbled and Scott went dead silent. “I usually ignore him when he says stuff like that, but then he started to insult  _ your _ kids and...and that wasn’t fair. He doesn’t even know them...so I said something back and he punched me.” Peter mumbled and there was silence in the car after that. Then a laugh.

 

“I’m taking you for ice cream, that was awesome.” Scott said with a bright smile. “You probably  _ are _ the best babysitter ever.” 

 

Peter smiled a little and laughed.

 

OoOoO

 

The next day at school Peter was in a good mood again. Being with Cassie, Cooper and Lila after getting ice cream from Baskin Robbins with Scott was awesome. It was something May or Ben would probably do if he’d ever gotten in trouble for something like that...But he didn’t even think about it all that much.

 

And he was completely free today. 

 

He came up behind MJ during lunch, completely set on asking her to come with him to meet at the cafe. She hadn’t answered her texts. He stopped her just before the lunch room.

 

“Hey MJ.” he grabbed her arm lightly and she looked at him a bit surprised. “I’m  _ actually _ free today. Wanna uhm… you know hang out? Maybe go to the cafe?” he said like they hadn’t been in World War 3 the past two weeks. She smirked at him

 

“Whatever Parker.” she said and went into the lunch room, leaving Peter to goofily smile in the hallway before going in to sit at the lunch table with Ned. Goofy, dorky smile still on his face. 

 

“So you talked to her?” he nodded contently munching his not so bad apple. Ned smiled. “Thank god! Told you she just needed some time.”

 

Today was a good day.

 

OoOoO

 

“Hey MJ.” MJ was so surprised the light tug felt like a giant pull. Parker and her hadn’t spoken for weeks and now he was pulling her aside like nothing happened. “I’m  _ actually _ free today. Wanna uhm… you know hang out? Maybe go to the cafe?” oh he was trying to make amends.. And MJ was finally ready for him to make them. 

 

“Whatever Parker.” she pretended not to see that adorable dorky smile that came over his face whenever he was happy. She sat next to Charles.

 

“So I um…” Charles started out nervously, which was weird because he never was nervous around her. He held out a ticket to Jurassic world and flicked his hand to see  _ two _ tickets for tonight “The CGI is supposed to be incredible and-”

 

“Is this a date?” she asked blandly. Cause if this were a date… she actually wouldn’t mind it. Charles was a fun guy, he enjoyed her humor and she enjoyed his. They read almost every book the other had, and had deep long discussions about it. She could see herself having a relationship with him. They certainly had spent a lot of time getting to know each other. But… something was stopping her. Some unknown tug in her heart. 

 

“Uhm…” Charles rubbed the back of his neck. “I know it’s not traditional...I can-” whatever made her stop him, and say:

 

“Yeah, let’s do it.” wasn’t the fact that he was stuttering nervously. Or had that same dorky nervous look, that only looked  _ slightly _ out of place. Peter who? She just wanted her life to be her own.

 

So outside the gate when Peter was waiting for her, she stopped by him and his overeager puppy jumping.

 

“Ready to go?” he asked excitedly. 

 

“Actually, I’m gonna have to take a raincheck. Sorry Parker.” she said, and dammit at least her ditching was in person. Peter sent a stupid text all those times. Peter’s excited puppy jumping halted and Charles came down. 

 

“Ready to go?” he asked smoothly if not a bit goofily, and MJ smiled a little.

 

“Yep.” she said and easily fell into step with him. “See you at practice Parker. Don’t be late.” she said easily behind her. She didn’t see how Peter looked more like a kicked puppy then an excited one. She also didn’t hear the:

 

“O-Okay. Have fun.” he meekly left behind.

 

OoOoO

 

The next Tuesday was decathlon practice and  _ goddammit _ he's not be late. In fact he was 15 minutes early. He completely cleared his schedule of anything and everything. This was important.

 

Then Mr.Harrington said “Okay MJ and Charles had something planned together,” and Abe and Cindy looked at eachother knowingly and Peter hated it because he knew what was happening too “So Peter, you’re up.”

 

“M-Me?” he asked.

 

“Yeah, well Charles was the alternative, plus you know all the material.” he gestured to the podium. MJ had gave him third alternative as team leader, but only for his skills. He hated talking a lot in front of people. 

 

“O-Okay.” it was just a joke, and wasn’t  _ Ned _ supposed to be second alternative.

 

They started practice.

 

The rest of the week and the following went by in a similar manner. MJ saying she was too busy to hang out with them, and only to find her moony eyed with Charles. 

 

It sent something into the pit of his stomach that he cared not to explain. 

 

His poor lunches were being stabbed to death, but not actually consumed. And his thoughts were everywhere.

 

Why did she pick him over me? Why would she? 

 

Then he’d stop himself, remind himself that Charles was a great guy and MJ deserved someone great.

 

Oh no, MJ wasn’t like Liz. He’d fight everyone on the planet to have Liz, or he would’ve before she moved and he gotten over her. No, he’d fight everyone on the planet to see MJ  _ happy _ . Safe.

 

She wasn’t with him. He couldn’t do what Charles had done. Keep her happy and safe. Be reliable and there. He couldn’t do that. 

 

This was one thing he’d never want to take away from her.

 

Cause MJ deserved it.

  
  



	6. Avoiding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I put some light hearted stuff in the middle, because there was just SO MUCH ANGST. Not even I could handle it. It's like that one episode in the new Voltron season. Yeah that one where it's basically a gamer remix and they probably did it because of all the FREAKING BOMBS they dropped. Yeah like that.

**Avoiding**

 

Peter could deal with it.

 

He’d dealt with a lot worse. Octo pervs experimenting on him. No one knew about it though. Ben calling him retard and unwanted. But they were  _ just words _ right? Building falling on him..a couple of times. Piece of cake. Falling off a plane. Just like your parents. Getting caught in the engine. You survived. He kept surviving. Disappointment, anxiety and stress. He kept on going.

 

So why was this dwelling on it so much?

 

Why did he keep looking back longingly at Charles and MJ laughing about a joke? Why did he get a bit mad whenever MJ picked Charles as a lab partner instead of him? Or MJ poking fun at Charles with that starry eyed look? 

 

He knew why… he didn’t want to admit it but he knew why.

 

He liked her. Like,  _ like _ liked her. It didn’t feel the same as when he liked Liz though. Albeit, he’d never fight anyone just because he liked the person they were dating, but Peter couldn’t bring himself to be mad at anyone. Not as long as she was laughing, and smiling and happy. He was oddly content she was happy, but at the same time he wasn’t content that it wasn’t  _ him _ making her be so. 

 

He didn’t make her happy. He just made her upset and annoyed. Annoyed to wait so long and never get anything in return. Annoyed that he said he’d be somewhere and wasn’t. The small promises he broke were slowly adding up, and finally outweighing the bigger one. The one that kept her safe. The only one that used to matter. It was still the most important one, he’d rather have her mad then dead. That used to be enough.

 

Now it wasn’t.

 

So shoving his hands in his pockets, he walked away from the two outside of school. Ned having left early for spring break, he was doomed to walk alone with his own thoughts.

 

OoOoO

 

MJ watched him go. 

 

A sinking feeling in her chest. She’d been officially dating Charles since a few weeks ago. She kept going out with him, not thinking about Parker. But soon the relationship became more than a distraction from Peter. It became real and she loved it.

 

She loved having someone to rely on. Someone who was there. All the aspects she had liked about Peter weren’t in Charles, but that was okay. Because the most important one  _ was _ there. He was there. 

 

Everything she ever wanted was with her. At first there was dissatisfaction, but it was quickly drowned out. Because the flaws were the best part of Peter and they’d be the best part of Charles too. And they were...just less so.

 

But watching Peter walk away, not seeing him for a full week and a half. Maybe they could hang out, he didn’t have anything to do. Just sit at home and… do whatever it was he did at home. Probably Spiderman stuff or homework. 

 

Head down, hands in his pocket, he looked sad and tired. Exhausted. And she really couldn’t help but be worried for him. Did he look thinner? He had been trying to make amends, and she knew. Abe had said he showed up to more meetings, she noticed as well. He’d asked her to hang out a lot more, but this time  _ she _ was ditching, and there was some satisfaction in getting back at him for doing so in the past, but hadn’t he paid for that enough? He was actually helping people. He was Spiderman, saving the city and ditching his friends to do so. She was ditching him for what? A movie? Not very equal Jones. He had a good reason. And she knew it.

 

It was just… he was so  _ unreliable _ . And that was the one thing she needed in a friend. In a high school lover too. She knew if Peter had tried to be her boyfriend it’d be more of the same. Nothing would change. Because Peter would be as dedicated to his friends as he would be to his girlfriend. But he’d put everyone else above his relationships anyway. She couldn’t put that kind of pressure on top of everything he was already dealing with.

 

But she could make a conscious effort to try to be friends with him. He needed stability and she knew that. 

 

So three days into Spring break she asked if he’d want to hang out. She didn’t get a reply.

 

Two days later she asked again. Still no answer.

 

On the last day of Spring break she asked one more time. 

 

She never did get a reply.

 

OoOoO

 

Peter walked into the Avengers Tower common room. He hated breaks because all he could do was go home and avoid Ben. He usually had nothing to do. But now he could stay at the compound, which didn’t seem so bad, he could probably spend a few nights here, Spiderman for a bit, build some drones. Too bad Ned wasn’t here, he was a constant in his avoiding of Ben. Even if Ned didn’t know what Ben was doing to him, he did know Ben had changed, so Peter’s want of going to his friend’s house had been a given. Ned never asked and Peter liked that because it was one less white lie he had to tell.

 

“Peter! It’s Spring Break, are you going anywhere?” Cassie asked happily, Scott had tensed a little and Lila bounded to give him a hug. He just smiled fondly.

 

“Nah, I was gonna stay for a couple of days, if that was okay-”

 

“Yes!” Lila cheered. 

 

“Okay, uhm I gotta ask Mr.Sta-” Peter said bashfully.

 

“Nah, it’s fine. You can stay here if you want.” Scott said easily brushing it off.

 

“Cool thanks.” he said with a smile.

 

“He can sleep in my room.” Cassie announced and Scott looked indigent and was spluttering. Peter just laughed.

 

“Thanks for the offer Cass, but I’m just gonna sleep on the couch or something. You know like I usually do when I sleep over.” he said.

 

“But you fall asleep watching movies. You never  _ planned _ a sleepover.” Lila said in a matter of fact tone.

 

“No, but I get to spend time with my favourite kids.” Peter scooped her up and she squealed in delight as he put her on his shoulders. 

 

“Which one do you like best?” Cassie asked eagerly. Scott rolled his eyes fondly.

 

“Definitely Cooper.” Peter said jokingly and Lila and Cassie pouted. Then, speak of the devil, Cooper came in from school. He looked tired, but upon seeing Peter he brightened.   
  


“Hey Peter!” he instantly perked up and Peter let Lila down.

 

“Hey Coop, how was that math test?” he asked.

 

“Terrible. Who schedules a test the day before break? I swear my math teacher’s a demon.” Cooper groaned and Peter chuckled.

 

“I’m sure you did fine.” He said easily and Cooper had a mischievous glint in his eyes.

 

“Confident in your skills , huh?” Cooper said teasingly and Peter shrugged and chuckled a bit, as Cooper turned to Scott. “Hey when is Aunt Maggie and mom coming?” Peter tensed up a little. He had heard about Laura Barton and Maggie Lang from their kids. A lot. They were supposed to be super nice, but still the thought about them coming over and Peter meeting them filled Peter with a bit of anxiety. Maybe he wouldn’t have to.

 

“Oh yeah, your dad is picking them up right now, and your baby brother is coming too.” Scott answered and Peter shifted a bit.  _ Now _ . Maybe they won’t notice him. “Yeah, Pete their excited to meet you.” Scott said with a grin and Peter tensed.

 

“Ex-excited? They don’t even- don’t even know me.” Peter mumbled out. Cooper grinned.

 

“What you don’t think we tell our moms’ about the awesomest babysitter/tutor  _ ever _ .” Did they know he was Spiderman? He had to wonder. But he just blushed and nodded anyway, his throat too clogged up for words. 

 

“When are they coming daddy?” Cassie asked and that’s when the elevator pinged.  _ Of course _ they’d be here now. When Peter was still trying to grasp this.

 

“Mommy!” Lila and Cassie said together and went to respective mothers’. Lila hugged the brown haired one with brown eyes, he could tell where Cooper had gotten his more brown then blonde hair. Cassie hugged the curly blonde haired one, she had her mother’s hair and eyes. He smiled fondly at the baby in Clint’s hands. 

 

“Hey sweetie.” Maggie knelt down and hugged her child, while Laura picked her up and planted a kiss and put her down. They were both pulled into the living room and Maggie hugged Scott, who returned it no problem. Cooper left Peter’s side at the counter and went to hug his mother. 

 

“Hey mom.” he said muffled in his mom’s light jacket.

 

“Hey hon.” she responded affectionately. Peter took in the scene with mild longing but mostly happiness.

 

“Mommy, mommy! Meet Peter!” Cassie said happily as Maggie came out of the hug to listen to her daughter.

 

“Yeah! He’s right here! He’s great!” Lila said and her and Cassie went over to the counter to bring Peter, who stumbled along with out much protest, but an anxious lump in his throat as he was shoved in front of the grandmasters. Or at least that was what it felt like. But then they smiled kindly, and Laura stuck out her hand. 

 

“Hi, I’m Laura. You’ve been taking care of my kids.” Peter took the hand and nodded and released and shook Maggie’s hand.

 

“Maggie.” she said with a smile and he returned it. As he stepped away the two sat down, as their kids went to the baby and Clint. “So you’re Peter?” Peter shifted nervously and nodded. Why was it easier to talk to the dads? Maggie laughed.

 

“You don’t have to be so nervous. We aren’t gonna bite your head off.” Laura chuckled with a mischievous glint.  _ Like Cooper’s _ he couldn’t help but think.

 

“Y-Yeah, I guess so.” Peter rubbed the back of his neck. 

 

“But seriously. I know Cass is cute, but she can be a handful sometimes.” Maggie sighed and Peter cockde his head like a confused puppy. It took the two ladies a minute to process that. 

 

“She’s no trouble at all. Very smart kid. All of them really.” Peter said with a smile. “I mean Lila, she’s really good at Math, very advanced for her age. And she loves helping people with emotional things, very good at making the room feel safe. And Cassie? Very bright, and she reading  _ far _ above her age level. I even started Moby Dick with her last month, she’s very intuitive too. And Cooper is a quick learner and he’s really good at putting things into perspective. And-” Peter cut himself off and blushed. “Sorry, I was rambling, their just such great kids and they really will go far in what they wanna do and-” Maggie and Laura laughed and Peter looked down and started to fiddle with his sleeve.

 

“No, no it’s okay. Really. We’re mom’s we wanna know what’s up with our kids.” Laura said with a laugh. “You seem to enjoy taking care of them.”

 

“Yeah, I really do.” Peter let a small smile cross his face.

 

“Yeah, and Scott told me that you also stand up for them?” Maggie said and looked to Laura who had an almost devious smile on her face.

 

“Yeah, Clint tells me you punched a guy out for Cooper?” Peter blushed.

 

“It was one time… and the guy was giving him a hard time for a while…” Peter mumbled.

 

“Good.” Maggie and Laura said together and Peter couldn’t help but put his back straighter.

 

“Well you’ll join us for dinner won’t you?” Laura asked and Peter couldn’t help but answer with a:

 

“Yes, ma'am.”

 

OoOoO

 

Peter shifted in his spot next to Cooper, poking at his pasta that Maggie had made. It was good, and he hasn't said a word all dinner. This felt weird. Whenever he’d eat at Ned’s house, they’d eat on the floor and watch movies or build something. Legos or otherwise. He’d never had a  _ real _ family dinner since May was alive. And he certainly hadn’t had a proper dinner at a friend’s house. He wasn’t even sure of the last time he  _ had  _  a proper homemade dinner, since May used to burn everything she cooked, they often ate out. 

 

It was going well until Laura spoke up and asked him questions.

 

“So Peter, Clint said you go to a smart school. How is it there?” she asked, and none of well anybody had  _ ever _ asked him how school was going. It seemed like such a mom thing to do.

 

“Uhm… it’s going well. Classes are easy enough I guess.” he mumbled politely, he wasn’t sure how to respond.

 

“Oh what classes do you take?” Maggie asked with an excited gleam in her eye.  _ Like Cassie. _

 

“AP US History, Spanish 5, Calculus AB, AP Chem, PE, AP Physics, AP Lang, and uhm Mechanical Engineering 2.” he listed off his schedule and looked at their faces.

 

“And that’s  _ easy? _ ” Scott scoffed. 

 

“Freaking genius.” Clint grumbled and Peter blushed. 

 

“Well, at least I know my kids are getting the best tutor, wow.” said Maggie and Laura nodded her head.

 

“So what about your parents, honey?” Laura asked and Peter, CLint, Scott and even Cooper tensed a bit.

 

“I-I uhm live with my uncle.” he said with a stutter “He’s uhm... busy all the time.” he mumbled and didn’t miss how Clint and Scott clenched their hands. He sent them an apologetic look.  _ Sorry for lying to the love of your lives _ . Luckily they took the hint. 

 

“So Peter what do you do in your free time?” Maggie said to change the subject.

 

“I’m in academic decathlon… and I take care of your kids.” Peter offered but she didn’t look appeased. “I uhm also build robots and stuff…” he mumbled and ducked and Maggie smiled a bit. He looked so damn  _ cute _ !

 

“Wow. The little genius.” she said breathless and Laura declared:

 

“We’re keeping him!”

 

OoOoO

 

He saw the text three days later. 

 

He woke up at 11 on the white couch that was way too comfortable to be his bed, and the softest blanket in the world. 

 

He stared at the unread message on his phone from  _ MJ _ . He didn’t open the message, instead he let Cassie and Lila pull him away to breakfast, and happily forgot about it. But it was niggling in his mind. 

 

The second text two days later he didn’t even see. He was out to a movie with Cooper. 

 

The day before break was over he was back at his house, making sure he had all his over the break homework done. His door was locked and he was reading a book, Ben wasn’t home and shouldn’t be home tonight. He locked it anyway. He heard the buzz of his phone and his eyes turned to the phone. He put down the book and laid down holding his phone up looking up at the three unread messages he had yet to open. 

 

That’s how he fell asleep. 

 

He woke up automatically at 6am and abruptly got up from bed and gathered his things. Quickly putting on a nerdy T-shirt, baggy hoodie and jeans. He leaped out the windows and down the fire escape. His phone sitting heavily in his pocket.

 

When he got to school he made a beeline to see Ned, passing MJ quickly, who’d opened her mouth to confront him. He rushed passed her and said:

 

“Hey dude, how was Pittsburg?” and Ned started chattering on about his adventures in Steel City.

 

In History he was called on once and answered right. He’d never forget to do his homework after that first time that seemed to shatter their friendship.

 

He passed Spanish and Calculus in a daze and then lunch and he didn’t look at her once. He was talking to Ned and avoiding his food, just keeping his focus on the conversation  _ they _ were having. 

 

In Chemistry he sat as far away from her as possible and focused on the class even if he already knew what was going on, his homework and his webs. 

 

The next day in PE he stayed with Ned on the other side of the gym, and let Flash laugh at his athleticness. Physics passed too quickly and in English he was assigned to sit next to her. Well not really assigned they had picked their seats for the semester though. His stomach hurt and he kept pressing on to it and squirming and fidgeting next to her. So much so that  _ he _ even found it annoying.

 

“Are you sick Parker?” he shook his head and went back to his work. Mechanical engineering seemed like a relief to his entire system and Free period after that wasn’t too bad either. 

 

He skipped decathlon.

 

OoOoO

 

The following weeks came by in a similar fashion. Him avoiding her in the halls, and dodging her in the classroom, and skipping meetings. 

 

_ Two weeks _ .

 

Two weeks of dodging and avoiding and everything in between. Ducking his head, and squirming whenever he was within a 8 feet radius of her. It was honestly getting annoying how good he was at it.

 

She tried to stop him in the halls. He zoomed by her the first few times and took alternative routes to get to class.  Text him whats up. He ignored them, and the message wasn’t even opened. Do some homework together. She couldn’t talk or communicate with him so she asked Ned to and then Ned did the nervous fidgeting too and she waved him off.  _ Something _ . Nothing worked. Something was wrong. 

 

She observed him from afar, less then she used to do, but enough to see. Enough to see the bags under his eyes. The unnatural paleness of his skin. The way his clothes hung too big on him. The way he flinches at any contact other than Neds’. A brush to the shoulder or nudge in the hallway would do that. 

 

But then her slight worry turned into slight anger when he didn’t show up for the third practice in a row. Usually he’d go to every other one, but now he was just skipping to avoid  _ her _ .

 

She thought that Peter Parker did everything to help people even if it was out of his comfort zone. She thought that was the one thing she could count on of him. To always put others needs before his own, and now he was just doing this to avoid her. He was letting down the team. 

 

_ Again. _

 

It took until the sixth practice he missed for her to snap at Ned to bring Parker back, she does care  _ whatever the hell was so important _ . Ned flinch and they were on their way. 

 

OoOoO

 

It came to the point where Ned had to force him into a practice and he reluctantly said yes.

 

She glared upon his arrival.

 

“Nice of you to show up Parker.” she nearly snarled. Yeah it pissed her off that he wasn’t there. Peter shrunk in on himself, unable to avoid confrontation. She started at him, and with each passing question he felt more of her wrath and he felt more and more sick.

 

“The study of evolutionary developmental biology” she said bluntly.

 

“was revived in the 1990s after being ignored for about fifty years” he responded automatically. 

 

“What is meant by the phrase "turn genes on" or "turn genes off “?” she pressed and he gripped his backpack strap nervously.

 

“Hox genes determine whether specific genes are expressed in a particular place and time.” he said shifting around.

 

“Which of the following explains the vast variation of traits in organisms on Earth?”

 

“natural selection”

 

“Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?”

 

“Gould and Eldredge”

 

“Humans and chimpanzees share a common ancestor. If you compared their genomes, you could determine”

 

“how long ago the populations separated” 

 

“According to the article, "Jurassic Genome," what is "junk DNA"?”

 

“DNA that does not code for proteins”

 

“Tiktaalik is a transitional species that was found in a very small area. However, the fossils of its ancestors and the species that evolved from it were spread over vast regions. This pattern is consistent with”

 

“punctuated equilibrium”

 

“According to the modern synthesis, a change in allele frequencies in a pop-” Mr. Harrington cut her off.

 

“Michelle I think that’s enough. Poor boy obviously knows his-”

 

“Evolution.” he said anyway and he felt out of breath all of a sudden. Michelle glared at him and went down the line to the other decathlon students.

 

“Just making sure he wasn’t slacking off.” she muttered. And of course he hadn’t he was Peter Parker. He studied too much and never had any fun.

 

He’d gotten every question right and she was still mad. He went to the chair he usually sat on, but Charles was already occupying it. 

 

“Sorry man, we made some changes while you were out.” he said and pointed to his open chair by Martha. He was usually Ned’s partner. Couldn’t they just...change it back? He didn’t know Martha that well and-

 

“Parker get to your seat.” Michelle ordered and he bowed his head and went over like a kicked puppy obeying his master. 

 

He was socially awkward, didn’t do well with new people, and MJ...Michelle  _ knew _ that. Why was she doing this? Sure he had avoided her, and skipped decathlon practice for 2 weeks straight. He hadn’t replied to her texts or talked to her in class.  _ He _ had initiated it this time. 

 

But still he was doing this  _ for _ her. So she could be happy. So she could be safe. So she could have someone reliable like she  _ deserved _ . 

 

He’d always have her to admire her from afar. She’d always be a distant unreachable friend. He accepted that now. His drive to cling to things and people had to release on her if he wanted it to stop hurting.

 

But he knew it could never stop hurting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY so I relieve now that I wrote MJ as such a little bitch. I just wanna point out from her perspective. She's NEVER had friends before, and thus doesn't know how to interact with one. She can only go off of what she sees, and that's friends depending on one another. Peter, in that case, is not being a good friend by not being there for her. In the movies she also was depicted as not good with emotions. So MJ will overreact and under react to different things, and she's also a teenager, of course she's gonna put more drama into it. She's a kid same as Peter. So yeah she can be a bit bitchy, but just you wait my friends, she shall redeem herself yet!  
> lol minor spoilers but who reads these authors notes anyways :p


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